I think one of the biggest challenges I’ve been facing since moving is finding ways to meet new people. Day to day I see my partner and his brother, and occasionally our neighbor comes over. She and I get along pretty well too- we’ve gone out to a local bar a couple of times, and we tried joining a meetup (but I’ll get to that). Other than this small group, I don’t really have a lot of friends here.
It’s just challenging not having a setting like college where you’re placed in a relatively closed-off setting with a bunch of like-minded people. Seriously, I became best friends with my best friend because I needed a place to sit in gen. chemistry, and That Guy I Saw That One Time was in the class. So I waved, and gestured to the seat next to him, and he waved and nodded. And then we became best friends (okay so there’s a lot more to it than that). But now there’s no gen. chem. There’s no debate club, or dorms, or frat parties, or student union.
There are bars, I guess, but I can think of exactly one time that I had a conversation with a stranger out at a bar. I think bars are for going out with your group and huddling away from the other groups who are huddling away from you. It just seems so antisocial.
One of my friends suggested the app Meet-Up, which has been helping somewhat. It’s at least reminiscent of joining clubs in college. You put in your interests, and it spits out a bunch of groups. So far, the results have been mixed for me.
I also tried out a board games meetup with my neighbor, but a large portion of the group ended up being 50+ years old, and we felt pretty out-of-place there. The first meeting was fun, but at the second meeting, we didn’t see anyone in our age group there, so we set out to find something else to do that night.
I joined a Pokemon Go meetup (which I am now an admin of? oops?), which is helping. I get along fairly well with the people, but I really only see them once a week at the meetups. I’m not sure if it’s going to be a way I can find people to go out for coffee with or just hangout with in a non-structured setting. I’m hoping that with time that’s what it becomes; there are a couple of people in the group who seem particularly friendly. So, for now, I’ll see my group once a week, and that’s still good. But hopefully eventually I can find some close friends to send funny memes or go see a movie with or drag to the beach instead of L (who really doesn’t like the beach at all, but he humors me and goes anyway). I’ll let everyone know how the hunt for friends turns out.